Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in faeryraindancer's LiveJournal:

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Tuesday, April 14th, 2009
4:31 pm	new phone number! :D I have a new phone number, along with texty godness! I have comments screened, so if you want my new number just respond with your email address. :D Current Mood: hopeful (Comment on this)
Sunday, April 12th, 2009
2:25 pm	sorry I disappeared... I hope no-one worried. I'm taking it much better than the last couple times I got fired...Matt and Viv can attest to the before...catatonic for a month... This time, I was in shock the first day, although I was chatting with Master on Yahoo while I waited for Matt to come pick me up at work, and that helped. Next day, no energy, exhaustion, which I knew was depression, and I let it happen, took a long nap, allowed myself to be a bum. Since then mostly okay. Master gave me His old mp3 player, and Rik loaded it with all kinds of gothy and industrial goodness. Started taking a daily walk...Combichrist is very good to exercise to! :) Just around 2 blocks atm, but once that stops kicking my butt I'll expand. So yeah, I think I'm doing fine. :) (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, March 24th, 2009
12:24 pm	Fuck. Just got let go. Current Mood: worried (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, March 19th, 2009
4:05 pm	Damn it, I was not hired to dust! I just got minorly chewed because I didn't do a good enough job on his office. "Who taught you how to dust??" Who cares. Sorry for disappearing. Tuesday I called off work because I was just in too much pain. I was in bad pain Monday night...and then I got woken up from a dead sleep by my cat letting out the most bloodcurdling scream I've ever heard a cat make. Then she was still making the noise and acting all funny, not letting me near her. I went and got Matt, and eventually she started acting normally. Matt thinks she had a nightmare. But basically I went from dead sleep straight to panic attack. Did NOT help the pain levels. Yesterday I was actually steadily busy at work, so I didn't get a chance to post. Still really painful. I can remember back when I wasn't in pain all the time. Seems like I got partially reborn...same life but different body. Current Mood: sore (Comment on this)
Monday, March 16th, 2009
1:18 pm	Another thing... ...is it normal for office support staff to be expected to dust? My boss is always on my case to dust. Dusting (or any manual labor for that matter) is very difficult for me, otherwise I'd probably still be teaching daycare. Yes, I've told this to him. Just curious if this is normal or not. Current Mood: curious (2 Comments |Comment on this)
1:01 pm	Working 7 hours today...I even get a half hour break! So really 6.5 hours. One of the other office people is off today, so I get extra hours. Yay! :) Weekend...was. Didn't make it to the fair. Ended up sleeping most of Saturday. Damned fatigue. But I did make a couple killer stirfrys this weekend! Forgot how yummy the smell of freshly-chopped scallions was. Had to chop, sit down for a while, then go back and cook...but I still did it. Jarred chopped garlic and chopped ginger are definitely my friends. :) Bok choy, canned straw mushrooms and sliced water chestnuts, a little oil, soy sauce and fish sauce, and a little tapioca starch disolved in water to thicken. It's a lot stronger than cornstarch...first time I used it I didn't have sauce...I had jelly! :D But it did prove that I am capable sometimes of really cooking. Now, I only had to chop 2 things, neither of them hard...but still. I can still do it. Another coworker, Steve, one of the sweetest men in the world, left about an hour ago because his daughter got rushed to Children's Hospital because someone gave her some pills and she overdosed. He's lost one daughter already. He was in the lobby crying, waiting for the boss to come back so he could tell him what was going on. I never thought to EVER see him cry. I just put my arm around him and held him until the boss got here and he left. He insisted on driving himself. My heart hurts for him. Current Mood: worried (Comment on this)
Friday, March 13th, 2009
3:07 pm	Whew, long day. Fridays I come in 2 hours earlier and leave 2 hours earlier. But it's payday (get paid every week), so the 2 hours helps me get to the bank today before it closes instead of having to go out tomorrow. Been doing data entry most of the day, and my eyes are crossing. :) Work, SecondLife, sleep...I'm a boring person. :) This weekend here is a psychic fair...we'll see if I drag myself to that...I think it's free. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, March 12th, 2009
5:18 pm	What Chakra Are You? You Are the Heart Chakra You are loving, kind, and empathetic. You feel for the world, and you truly value peace. You have many close relationships, and you work hard to make them harmonious. You are accepting and understanding. You are tolerant of all sorts of viewpoints, even if you don't agree with them. You are very forgiving. When you love someone, your love is unconditional. What Chakra Are You? (Comment on this)
5:17 pm	What's Your Life's Mission? Surprised...never saw myself as a leader... You Are the Leader You are inspiring and uplifting. You bring out the best in people, through both nurturing and challenging them. You always can see the big picture in life. You are very philosophical and deeply spiritual. You understand people, and you can look at their lives objectively. You can help others grow and heal. People feel comforted by your presence. You help them gain perspective on their lives. What's Your Life's Mission? (Comment on this)
5:06 pm	Busy day at work today. Trying to get caught up with some data entry. I clocked in a half hour early because Shannan called in sick. They called me at home this morning to see if I could come in earlier, but there's no way unless I get picked up...it takes me an hour plus on the bus each way. Wore my new work shirt to work today. :) 2 days ago it was almost 80 degrees here. Today it's back to the low 40s. No wonder Shannan got sick. Right now I'm waiting to catch the bus. My boss is nice and lets me sit in here because there's no shelter or bench at my stop. I'd have to stand for like 20 minutes outside. I might have to quit this job at the beginning of May though, because I've heard rumors that they're rerouting my bus and getting rid of the stop right by my work, so that I'd have to walk like 3 blocks. Can't really walk too far anymore. I was gonna be quitting in June to move, and that extra month of pay would be nice. But I guess if it does happen it means I'll have extra time to organize and pack. Current Mood: exhausted (Comment on this)
Wednesday, March 11th, 2009
11:47 am	tired of being tired... I fall asleep on the bus almost every day. Problem is that lately I'm nearly missed my stop a lot, and a couple of times HAVE missed it. Yes, I should get to bed a bit earlier...I usually go to bed 1130ish and have to wake up at 830. But fatigue sux. Went to Goodwill after work yesterday. Found a shortsleeved work shirt and a pair of notwork pants. Also found a really cute skirt...but it was dryclean only. Le sob. Got 2 books as well...Mismeasure of Woman by I can't remember and Touch the Earth by Tim? McCluhan. I might already have a copy of the first book, but it was only 99 cents, so if I do I'll just give one back to Goodwill. :) Oh well...time to clock in. :) Current Mood: exhausted (Comment on this)
Tuesday, March 10th, 2009
1:02 pm	What Do Your Initials Say About You? This is my chosen initials...I think it better describes me now... You Are Empathetic and Trustworthy When You Are Comfortable: You are open-hearted and harmonious. You are a giving person, and you are always willing to listen to people. People find you to be incredibly kind, sympathetic, and loyal. You can always be counted on. When You Are At Your Best: You are a sensitive, gentle soul. You want to save the world... or as much of it as possible. People see you as unselfish and well mannered. You truly enjoy being around others, and it shows. When You Are in a Social Setting: You are a determined and responsible. You strive for success, and you know what it takes to get things done. People find you to be trustworthy and a good leader. You treat people well, and they benefit from your wisdom. What Do Your Initials Say About You? (Comment on this)
1:00 pm	What Do Your Initials Say About You? This is my birth initials...I think it more describes me before I got sick... You Are Stable and Cheerful When You Are Comfortable: You are a hard worker. You need security and stability in your life, even if that means putting in long hours. People see you as solid and dependable. You are always able to see the good in situations. Other find this comforting. When You Are At Your Best: You are a determined and responsible. You strive for success, and you know what it takes to get things done. People find you to be trustworthy and a good leader. You treat people well, and they benefit from your wisdom. When You Are in a Social Setting: You are enthusiastic and flexible. You are open-minded. You prefer to learn from others... not judge them. People see you as kind and cooperative. You are very supportive when friends are down on their luck. What Do Your Initials Say About You? (Comment on this)
11:36 am	clarification... No, Matt didn't completely abandon me. He never kicked me out. He still housed me and fed me. He knew that I couldn't physically take care of myself, and I thank him for what he was able to do for me. What he did was back away and back away emotionally until we went from engaged to roommates sharing a bed. I still care about him. I still love him even, and I worry about him. And I think he still cares about me, but I dunno about love. I know it's time for me to move on. I've clung to this much MUCH longer than I should have. Mentally, I finally feel strong enough to move on. And I'll be going to be with my Master. But I worry that He won't be able to deal with my disabilities either. I know it's a different situation...Matt got these things sprung on him mid-relationship. Master knew about them before He bought me. But I still worry that the experience of dealing with me will be so different from just talking about it that He'll get tired of dealing with me. And then I feel bad for lacking faith in Him. Yeah, I know...I'm a froot loop...and I think too much...at least now I'm thinking in here instead of just having all these thought crashing around in my head and driving me nutz. :) Okay, about time to clock in... (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, March 9th, 2009
4:35 pm	Not a bad day at work today...nicely busy without being hectic. Had about an hour of eye-crossing pain, but I pushed through it. It's actually warm enough that the boss turned on the ac! :) I need to start popping into Goodwill because I need more shortsleeved work shirts...soon it'll be too warm for my suit jacket. Need some more nonwork pants too...most of mine have about had it. End of the month I'm flying to North Carolina for a few days to visit my Master and one of His other subs. I can't wait! :) We're going to stay at His sister's beach house, so I can even go swimming in the ocean...haven't been able to do that in oh so many years. I worry about what will happen to Matt after I move this summer. His recent medicine snafu has left him seriously considering disability. At least he'll be able to get a smaller, cheaper place with me gone. But I can see where he is right now mentally and coping-wise...he's where I was a year and I half ago when I got sick. And I don't want to think that this is karmic backlash for his inability to deal with my mental and physical disabilities, but it keeps coming into my brain and won't leave me alone. Then part of me keeps thinking that I'm abandoning him in his need like he abandoned me in mine...but I know that's not reality (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, March 6th, 2009
12:11 pm	yes I still live :) Yeah, so it's been over a year since I posted in here. Been quite a year. Learning to live with fibromyalgia has been...challenging. Today's actually a bad pain day because of major weather changes...2 days ago we were 20 degrees below average, and today we're 20 degrees ABOVE. It's so nice out though, that I might sit out on my porch after work. Yes, WORK. I got a job as an admin asst about 4 months ago. Part time, but I don't think I can handle much more anyways. It's a fun place, and the people are nice. :) And it's nice to feel useful again. Other than that, haven't been doing much. I spend most of my free time in SecondLife, which I LOVE and am addicted to because in there I feel normal, whatever normal is. It gives me a social life. Anyways, I'm going to try to start posting more often. Try being the operative word... Current Mood: sore (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, February 19th, 2008
7:16 pm	/me wonders if anyone on her Friends list is on SecondLife... Current Mood: hopeful (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, February 3rd, 2008
2:43 pm	create your own visited states map Current Mood: amused (Comment on this)
Saturday, January 19th, 2008
11:25 pm	ZOMG...politics through the eyes of a 9 year old http://www.dailykos.com/story/2008/1/6/25723/26527/751/431492 Current Mood: amused (Comment on this)
Thursday, January 10th, 2008
12:46 am	new laptop is eating my brains! It's almost 1am, and I'm still awake, playing with my new laptop. I got my yahoo and msn messengers, my weather channel bug, my open office, all by myself! I feel so accomplished and stuff... I'll go upstairs after "Whose Line is it Anyway?" goes off... Current Mood: awake (1 Comment |Comment on this)